


You are my sunshine

by Unitatoam



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Depression, F/F, F/M, M/M, Murder, some sad things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:23:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5873902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unitatoam/pseuds/Unitatoam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi has been haunted by horrible memories of his squad's death. He can't sleep, every time he closes his eyes he sees their lifeless bodies. One night, Eren finds him asleep, sweating and murmuring things to himself. Eren thinks he can help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nightmares

"Corporal.....I have your tea..I'm coming in."

Eren knocks a few times before walking into Levi's room to give him his tea. When he walks in, he finds the older man curled up in a ball. Eren gets closer to him, hearing him muttering things he can't understand. Levi begins to shiver and sweat begins to appear his face, thinking he is having a nightmare Eren becomes worried. Eren shakes him until he woke up."What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Ummm.. you...you were shaking... and you looked like... you were having a nightmare." Eren's face became red, as he tried to calm himself down, taking deep breaths. "If you want I could.......never mind", Eren turned to leave the room when Levi's voice stopped him, "What were you about to say, Yaeger."

Eren turned not meeting the Corporal's eyes, "My mom, she used to sing to me, every time I had a bad dream. Or when I would have a bad day...she would just know and she would sing." Eren began to remember his mother's sweet voice. He remembered his mother's gentle features, how bright the day would turn when she smiled at him. Eren then heard his mother's piercing scream, then he sees her being torn apart, he snaps out of his daze. Eren can feel tears forming but quickly brushes them away remembering he was still in the Corporal's room.

"It was a stupid idea, I'll leave you alone, sir." Levi kept his eyes on the boy as he left the room leaving him alone with his nightmares. Levi tossed and turned, his nightmares were getting worse and had no signs of stopping. Since the last expedition, he has been getting the same nightmare each time. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees his friends' lifeless bodies, broken, being tossed out of the cart. After they had returned he went to his room and cried. 

It didn't matter what Levi did he couldn't get the images out f his head. He sat upright, sitting still in the darkness for a moment, then he remembered what Eren had said. He thought about it for a moment, then he stood up and began to walk.

Since Eren slept in the dungeon he would have a tough time sleeping, so he would stay up late every night. The dungeon wasn't the only thing that kept him up at night, most of the time his mother's death would roam his mind along with his teammates deaths. Remember he couldn't save his mother. How his teammates death laid on his shoulders, it didn't matter what they said, he knew the truth. Sometimes his thoughts would get to him and his mind would wander to dark places. He would calm himself down by humming to himself his mother's song. He was deep in thought not noticing Levi walking in.

"Hey, brat." Eren jumped at bit, bringing him out of his mind.

"Yes..sir?"

"Could you..."Levi turned, not wanting to meet Eren's eyes,"sing to me......the song."

Eren was confused for a moment, but then he remembered what he had said."Yes, sir." Levi walked to the corner of Eren's bed and sat down. Eren looked at him for a moment then began to sing his mother's old song, _Y_ _ou are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray, you'll never know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away_. Eren closed his eyes and sang the soothing melody. They both slowly drifted into a deep sleep.

* * *

Levi slowly woke up from his deep sleep, noticing that he wasn't in his room. He sat up looking around, then it hit him, he was in Eren's room. He tried to remember what had happened yesterday when Eren walked in. "Morning Corporal, did you sleep well."

Levi then remembered Eren's voice before he had fallen into a nightmare free sleep."Yeah.....I actually did." Eren was surprised to see a smile forming on Levi's face.

"Anytime time you need help to sleep or just so you could calm down, all you need to do is ask." Eren smiled, then left to eat breakfast, leaving Levi alone. When Levi reached the dinning hall, he was back to his former self. For a while Levi was okay, and his nightmares seemed to have vanished, but his mind would make him think of horrible things. He would think that he would make the same mistakes and time would repeat itself in the upcoming expedition.

* * *

When Eren brought him his tea one night, Levi looked at the boy and decided he had enough, "Could you sing to me again."  "Yes, sir." "Eren, when we're alone just call me Levi." "Okay...Levi." Eren gave a small smile, and sang his mother's song. After that night, Eren sang to him almost every day. Each time Eren would sing, Levi would became less and less stressed and more calm. As the time passed they became closer and closer. Levi loved Eren's soothing voice, he felt at peace when he heard the young boy sing. One day while Eren was singing, he was able to hear his mother scream, her cry for him to live. He stopped and became filled with tears, Levi looked at the boy and was surprised on what he did next.


	2. Sunshine

Eren could feel the Corporal's body against his and was struck with confusion. He didn't know what to do. "Eren, you know you can tell me anything right? I thought we have gotten to the point where we could trust each other. Was I wrong?" Levi pulled away and met Eren eyes.

Eren couldn't look him in the eyes, "I do trust you, it's just that a lot of shit has happened and I know shit happens to everyone, but I'm not as strong as others. I wasn't able to help my mother survive. She had to die because of me, she had to die because I wasn't strong enough. The last thing she told me was to live, and I think I won't be able to keep that promise." Eren couldn't keep back his tears. He felt Levi's hand touch his wet cheek, wiping his tears away "Eren, I know that it might seem like your mother's death was your fault, but that isn't true."

He was surprised to see Levi care so much about him, that he cared so much about how he felt. "That's not the only thing that worries me. I'm not strong, even when I'm in titan form and I know that I'm going to have to see my friends die in front of me. I know that I won't be able to make the right choice when the time comes......" there is a paused, "That I'm going to repeat the same mistake as last time. That I'm going to be the reason everyone dies."

"Eren, everyone in the survey corps are trained soldiers, they have trained to fight. They are strong enough to fight and win. You have to trust them to be able to win."

"I try to, I really do, I try to believe that everything will be okay......that I everyone will be fine. But my mind doesn't let me think right sometimes, some night I think that everyone will die because of my stupid mistake. Because of my stupid judgment." Levi brought him closer and hugged him tightly. They stayed like that for a while, only the sound of Eren's quiet cries filled the room. Levi only kept his eyes on Eren, waiting for him to calm done a bit. He let out a breath, then began to speak.

"Eren I never told anyone this, but....when I was a kid my mother and father were in the Survey Corps.......they weren't the greatest parents, but they were there. We didn't live up on the surface, we lived done in the undergrounds. I know it's weird, Survey Corps members living in the undergrounds......One day they were called for an expedition, and I was already used to that. But after a week, I began to worry. I later learned that they were killed......I guess my parents never said anything about me. I waited for someone to come for me, but no one came. I was left in the streets to die. I stopped caring about others, I got in into my head that if no one cared about me why should I care about them. I know that's stupid, but it was my way of keeping myself from getting harmed. But that wasn't the only thing that made me cut ties.....I had seen so many die in front of me that I knew that I would end up losing everyone in this cruel world we live in. I joined the Survey Corps and nothing changed, I watched comrades die. I would feel bad for their families, but that was all. That all changed the moment I met you, Eren. When you sing to me I feel at peace. Every day I look forward to hearing your singing. I was living in a world of darkness until I met you.....you are my light, Eren. I want you to always remember this.......you are my sunshine."

Eren felt his body become warmer. He hugged the older man tightly. He smiled against the Corporal's chest.


	3. I Won't Leave You

"Eren, do you want to stay the night."

Eren froze for a moment, did Levi just say what he thinks he just said. He turned bright red and kept his head on the Corporal's chest. Levi was worried for a second that he might have crossed the line, he was about to apologize when he felt Eren nod. 

There was an awkward moment when Eren had to go back to his room to change. While Levi was left alone, he wondered what had caused him to ask such a question. What had caused him to reveal so much about is life. He was lost in thought when Eren had returned to the room. Sure a they had gotten closer since Eren first sang to him, but that didn't mean he had to spill his whole life story. Yeah maybe he thought the brat was kinda cute, sure he thought that Eren's smile could brighten the darkest of nights. Maybe he sometimes got a bit jealous of cadets that seemed to get a bit too close to him, but that didn't mean anything.  

Levi hadn't noticed that Eren had already settled himself on one side of the bed and had already fallen asleep. Levi looked at Eren's sleeping face, he looked so peaceful and.....shit. Levi couldn't believe the thoughts that were invading his mind, what the hell is wrong. He was brought back to reality when he felt Eren shiver. He turned to look at the boy and was taken back at what he saw. Eren had tears running down his cheeks, whispering "Don't.....leave....me.....Levi....don't....die........I...love..you."

He wiped away Eren's tears, he didn't realize what he was doing before it was too late. He bend down and laid a kiss on Eren's sleeping face whispering an "I love you too."  

* * *

Eren was the first to wake, still a bit dazed at what had happened the night before. When he was a bit more aware of his surroundings he noticed that Levi's arm was around him, his cheeks began to burn up. He stayed still for a moment, then decide to just get up like nothing had happened, but before he could he heard Levi's voice, "Who'd you sleep Eren?"

"It was one of the best nights since I arrived. All thanks to you."

Eren noticed a slight blush appear on Levi's face and couldn't help but smile.

* * *

Levi's mind was filled with details of the expedition that would take place the very next day. As he was finishing up the last minute changes, his mind was able to relax for a moment and the very first thing that came to his mind was Eren's sweet voice as he said, "I love you". Levi smiled at that memory, but the second he began to think about Eren his mind would end up wandering to places that shouldn't be explored, well maybe not at that moment.

* * *

 

Eren was the first to be told of the last minute changes of he expedition and was told to go to bed early. The second Eren reached his room, he was hit with the sudden memory of what had happened the night before. He couldn't help but smile. Then he began to think about the dream he had. He remembered it so vividly, he was fighting off titans trying his best to protect Levi, but before he could stop a titan it reached Levi. Eren picked him up and ran far away from the titans, trying to find a safe place to check on him. Levi was struggling to speak, only able to hold out a hand out for Eren. After he set him down, he broke down and was crying, pleading with him to stay awake. "Please...Please Don't leave me I love you, Levi! Don't leave me here....please." He was glad that was the only thing he could remember.

Deep down, well not really that deep down, Eren knew he had feelings for Levi, but not just let's be friends because I care about you. No, more like I want to stay with you every night, I want to be the one to put that beautiful smile on your face, I want to be able to share moments we will never forget. Okay so maybe Eren did have it bad for the Corporal, but he didn't want to risk ruining the friendship that had blossomed. He was happy with how things were at the moment, he was able to bring light to Levi's dark world. At least, no one could take away the fact that he was Levi's sunshine.

 Eren drifted off to sleep thinking about the expedition and he didn't refuse some thoughts of him and Levi together.

* * *

Later in the night, Levi had to inform his new squad of the expedition that would occur the next day. He explained basic information on where everyone had to be and what they had to do. As he explained, his eyes would wander, looking for Eren. To his luck, he was only able to see Eren's friends, he wondered if Eren had already been briefed. He waited for everyone to leave before he made his way to Eren's room. When arrived he found Eren sleeping, he thought about it for a moment. He made his way to one side of Eren's bed, stroking away a loose hair from his face. He smiled at the boy's sleeping face. "Don't worry about me Eren. I wouldn't leave you."

 


	4. A Choice

Before leaving for the expedition, Levi wanted to talk to Eren. He was worried about him, he knew that Eren still blamed himself for the death's of old teammates, even when he was told otherwise. And what if time does repeat itself, Eren wouldn't be able to recover from that. He knew he couldn't stop Eren from going, but he could at least try. When Eren entered Levi's room there was a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Eren, are you sure you're ready?" Eren was shocked, how could Levi possibly think he wasn't ready, sure he was a bit scared, but that wasn't going to conquer him. Before he could speak, Levi's voice rang out. "When you stayed the night, I heard you talking in your sleep...you were shaking and sweating, you looked as if you were about to cry. Then you asked me not to die."

"Levi, that was....." Eren couldn't tell him about that dream, the thought about it for a moment, "I can't just stand around doing nothing, I can't just stand here and watch everyone fight. I want to fight. I want to be able to help free everyone from this hell we live in."

"You don't understand Eren. I just don't want to lose you. You helped me in more ways than you know. You helped me destroy the nightmares that haunted me, you were able to calm my nerves, Eren you make me happy. You were able to show me another side of the world when no one else could."

Eren couldn't believe his ears, he could only smile and as much as he tried he couldn't hold back his tears. "You don't understand the joy that I feel at this moment."

Levi watched as tears ran down his cheeks. He really loved Eren, but what was he going to do, tell him. No, he couldn't do that, not now at least. Levi made his way toward him, about to give the younger boy a hug, but was beat to it by the young boy himself. They stayed like that for a moment before Levi pulled away to see Eren's face. Levi looked at Eren's eyes, but they quickly shifted to his soft lips. He wondered what they would feel like against his, all it would take was a little push. He thought about it for a moment but feared rejection. He could only think of one thing to say.

"Don't die brat."

* * *

 After Levi talked to Eren, he met with his new teammates. They went over the plan one more time before they set off. The expedition was meant to be simple, they only needed to see if they could find any resources. At least, that's what they told the soldiers, the real mission was to try and locate the Colossal and Armor titans.

They were about to reach the spot where someone reported spotting them when Levi saw something he wished he didn't. He thought about it for a moment, his troops hadn't spotted it yet and he wasn't about to sent them into panic mode. He ordered them to hurry into the forest and prepared for battle. Eren turned his horse to Levi and said, "What's wrong Corpor-"

Before he was able to finish he noticed the Armor titan. The second Levi heard Eren's voice ring out he turned, "Go with the other brat!"

"There is no way I'm leaving you!"

"Eren, just go!"

"There's no way, I'm going to let you go against it."

"I'm not going to Eren, go with the others! I'm goi-"

"Levi, you know that you can't kill it and you know that you can't drive it away!.....We all know that Reiner is the Armor Titan, he knows how to protect himself, he wouldn't hurt the other, he only wants me."

"No! I can't let you do this Eren!" Levi felt tears running down his cheeks, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Eren looked at the Corporal, realizing that he cared too much about Levi to let him die. Eren knew that he had to make a choice and he knew that his choice could affect everyone. He looked at Reiner then looked at Levi and he knew what he had to do. Sure what he was about to do might mean that he might not ever see Levi again, but as long as everyone was safe, as long as Levi was safe. Eren got a bit closer to Levi and wiped his tears.

"Don't cry, Levi I'll come back."

Before Levi could stop him, Eren jumped off his horse and bit into his hand. The second Eren reached Reiner he punched him so hard that his hand almost ripped off, but no damage came towards Reiner. Before he could land another punch, Reiner slammed Eren to the floor. Eren struggled under the Reiner weight. He tried punching Reiner, but nothing happened. He did it  over and over again until he remembered that Reiner had one weak spot. There was one place that wasn's as armored as the rest of his body. Eren was able to push Reiner long enough to land a hit on his stomach. Reiner reaction was slow and he wasn't able to shield himself in time. With that punch Eren was able to send Reiner off balance, he kept punching him in the same spot until Reiner collapsed. He stood there for a moment to make sure Reiner couldn't stand. He lifted his leg and was about to strike him on the nape of his neck when he noticed something. To his luck, it was the Colossal titan and he wasn't alone. 

 


	5. The Promise

Out of the corner of his eye, Eren saw the Colossal Titan leading a herd of titans, to his horror they were getting closer and closer. Eren knew damn well he wasn't going to be able to stop all of the titans, but he did know that there was a chance he could buy everyone some time to escape. As he witnesses the horror that was approaching he looked back in forth between his retreating team and incoming herd. It became clear to Eren there was the only thing he could do.  

"I have to save them. They all have a future to look forward to and I'm not going to be the one that ruined it for them. I have to save them, I have to save Levi." These thoughts were the only thing ran through Eren's mind. He really was a crazy son of a bitch. He stayed still for a moment, trying to regain his strength. 

Levi had regained his composure when he saw the herd heading in their direction. He scanned the are, looking for Eren hoping he would just retreat. But Levi knew better, Eren is going to do so crazy shit that going to get him killed. He might not be able to change Eren's mind, but that didn't mean he was going to try.

* * *

 After regaining his strength Eren stood up, noticing Reiner's titan body beginning to evaporate. He looked back to where his teammates were hiding, he could tell the fear that was going around. He was about to turn away when he noticed a horse making its way towards him.

To his horror it was Levi and he showed no signs of turning back. Before he could turn Levi around he was already off his horse. Eren lowered his hand and gently brought Levi to his eye level. 

"What the hell do you think you are going to do! There is no way that I'm going to let you go on this suicide mission!" When Eren is in his titan body, most of the times he can't understand when other talk to him, but he heard when the Corporal spoke to him, he heard it loud and clear. He could hear the desperate cry in Levi's voice telling him that they could outrun the herd, that they had of a chance to escape...all of them. But Eren knew the truth, even if they did run there was a chance that no one would survive. He knew that if they tried to escape, time would only repeat itself. 

Levi could see the frustration in Eren' eyes, he knew Eren was going to fight, no matter what.  Levi was in disbelief, how could such a brat make him feel do many things at the same time.

"I fell in love with a brat, a reckless one too. He does whatever he can to help others, even when there no hope. He gets himself in some tough spots and he always needs to be saved.......he doesn't know how much he means to me....he was able to calm me down when there was a storm in my head, when I thought the world was going to fall apart he save me. He banished my nightmares with his soothing voice, a voice that I love so much. He's able to smile every day, even when everything looks likes it's going to shit...even when he is hurting. He was able to show me a light in the darkness that I lived in. How did I fall for you, Eren?"

Levi sighed, and looked at his shoes, he really was insane. "I know you can understand me Eren, I just want you to come back in one peace. I don't want to you too."

"I promised you, Levi I will return. I promise I'll sing to you every day. I'll come back so I can see you smile to tell you-" Eren's thoughts were cut off when he heard Levi, "Eren if you can hear me....... I need you to remember....", Levi couldn't help the tears that were rushing down his face, "you told me that you were coming back! I can't loose you!" Eren couldn't stand it, he wanted to tell Levi that he wasn't lying, he was going to return, but he couldn't speak a word. "I.......will....re..turn.....Le....vi" Levi cleared his eyes and looked at him in surprise. Eren set Levi down by his horse, "I....am....your....sun...shine." Eren took one last look at Levi, before running towards the oncoming herd of titans.

Eren couldn't stand it, he wanted to tell Levi that he wasn't lying, he was going to return, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't say a word. Eren closed his eyes and tried to speak on last time.

 "I.......will....re..turn.....Le....vi" Levi cleared his eyes and looked at him in surprise. He set Levi down by his horse, "I....am....your....sun...shine." Eren took one last look at Levi, before running towards the incoming herd of titans.


	6. Are you okay

The second Eren began to run towards the incoming herd, Berthold seemed to stop and let the other titans rush towards Eren. Levi was shocked to see Eren killing titans left and right. As much as Levi wanted to help he couldn't, not because he didn't have the strength or some shit like that, the only reason he couldn't help was because his team was holding him back. They had to grab his arms in order to stop him from rushing into the chaos.

Eren had finished off the last titan when he noticed that the Colossal Titan was beginning to turn back. Eren was becoming weaker and weaker, he has never held his titan form for so long, he knew that he could collapse at any minute. He swayed for a bit before he lunged his whole body forward and reached out to grab Berthold's legs making him come crashing down. As Eren began to stand up he could feel himself becoming light headed, he could feel his life draining away. It took a moment before Eren was able to walk toward the fallen titan's body stopping by the kill spot.

"You fucking traitor...You watched us all fall....because of you so many people died, they were innocent people Berthold.....I thought you were my friend......I trusted you...we all trusted you." Eren was filled with rage, how could Berthold do this, how could he ruin so many lives, even if they thought they were doing any good, they just made everything worse. Eren raised his foot and as he was making his way down to hit the kill spot, to his surprise Eren let out a goodbye. Berthold body instantly began to evaporate, and just like that he was gone....for good.

* * *

 Levi was glad to see this nightmare come to an end, that he let out a sigh of relief. He turned to his team and was about to give out an order when he heard a mortifying cry. Levi was the first to react when he saw Eren's body slamming to the ground. When Eren had made contact with the ground everyone was able to see the cause of his fall, the Armor titan had tackled him down. It all played out so quickly, one moment Eren was fine, the next he was face first on the ground.

Before Levi could process what was happening he was making his way towards Eren's aid. He could hear his squad screaming for him to return, that there was nothing they could do, that they couldn't save Eren. But he ignored everything all he could see was Eren, all he could think was "I have to save Eren he didn't fight so many fucking titans to help us escape. You aren't dying here Eren, I'm not going to leave you behind you little shit."

Reiner had managed to hide in the nearby forest only able to watch as his best friend become nothing but bones. He was blinded by so much anger he didn't notice himself becoming a titan, he didn't notice his body colliding with Eren's. When he came back to his senses he looked at Eren's body, "Why the fuck did you have to kill the only fucking friend that I had." But no matter what he did Reiner couldn't let out a word. He could only scream.

He looked at Eren one more time before he raised his foot. He was about to slam his foot down when he noticed something making its way towards them. It was Levi and he was riding his horse at full speed. Eren turned his head to see what had hit him but instead, he saw Levi making his way towards him. Eren was running low on energy and he was debating on what to do the second he hit the ground but the second he saw Levi he made up his mind.

He wasn't going to let anyone else die because of him, he wasn't going to let the people he loved die because of his mistakes. Eren moved his face in order to see the figure that had made him crash and noticed that Reiner was about to attack Levi.

Before Reiner could notice Eren coming back to his senses, Eren was able to trip Reiner. The floor trembled as Reiner made contact with the floor. Eren was quick to his feet noticing that Levi had no intention of retreating no matter what the outcome was. Eren made his way to Reiner's legs and slammed his foot on them so hard he could hear skin ripping from both of them; making sure that he wouldn't stand up.

Levi noticed that Eren was fighting with the little energy he had left, "Eren! Don't be a fucking idiot! You'll die if you use up all of your energy!"

Eren turned to face him, he cared too much about Levi to let him die. Eren took one last look at Levi before turning back to Reiner and raising his foot one last time as he slammed it in the kill spot, with all the energy he had left. Like Berthold's body, Reiner quickly became nothing more than bones. When Eren saw that Reiner was actually gone, his vision became dark and he crashed.

Levi saw as Eren's body slammed on the floor. He rushed over to the fallen body and was quick to rip open the nape of Eren's neck. He pulled Eren out and his weight made them both fall. Levi looked at Eren's unconscious body, his eyes were closed, his skin pale, his once pink lips were getting dim."Eren! Wake up! Come on Eren wake up!" Levi was crying and yelling at Eren to wake up. Eren opened his eyes to see Levi in tears, "Hey....Levi...." he raised his hand to wipe away Levi's tears, "don't....cry...." "Eren, are you okay?"

"Eren! Wake up! Come on Eren wake up!" Levi began to cry, he begged Eren to wake up. He held him close to his chest rocking back and forth. Eren opened his eyes lazily to find Levi in tears. 

"Hey....Levi...." he raised his hand to wipe away Levi's tears, "don't....cry....I'm ok-"

 

 


End file.
